Addiction To Worry
Do you know what is addiction to worry ? Well, I started counseling with one of my patients named Carole who was suffering from chronic fatigue syndrome from a long time. She considered her illness to be one of the reasons for her depression which later turns out to be her “negative thoughts”. As I had several counseling sessions with her, I became aware of her negative thoughts as she used to utter words like, “What if my husband has a big loss in business?”, “What if I fall into some serious illness?”, “What if I never recover?”, “What if my kids get dropped out of school?” etc.
Her worries and all these lame thoughts were the reason behind her illness though they did not cause her this disease. And also, it was debilitating her immune system. Knowing that it was all her worries doing to her still, she was unconsciously addicted to the feelings these worries were given to her.
As I have already seen such cases as my mother and grandmother both spend their whole lives getting worried all the time. All the life I haven’t seen any of them without a minute of worries. As I belonged to the same generations, so I was a worrier too. But I didn’t let myself lived that way all my life. I decided to overcome all these thoughts the moment I went to a beach with my husband. All the way I had a thought that my house will burn down along with my kids. The thoughts were so overwhelming that we had to turn back. That moment I decided it is not going to work this way. As soon as I started thinking of the actual cause of worry I realized that worriers believe that they could really stop bad things happening by worrying about them. As I thought of my mother she used to think the same way too. My father was really a cool man but nothing bad happened to him either nor to my mother who was a constant worrier. My mother used to think that it is all because she already worried too much about it and she can really control the bad things happening this way. Well, concluding this my mother died of heart attack (that may be due to her constant worries), and my father is still alive at 92.
Then I realized there must be some solution to these endless thoughts which can do no good to you but only affect your mental and physical health. They are nothing but just the waste of time. The constant worries will only keep you in a state of illusion which has nothing to do with reality. Once I understood that part I tried to overcome my thoughts whenever I started feeling cramps in my stomach due to these meaningless worries.
Carole was still in the process of learning but at least she realized that this worrying thing will not give her anything despite the stress, anxiety, and fatigue. She also realized that whenever she starts living in the moment instead of worrying about the future she feels much better. She realizes that this addiction is a major cause of her illness and also these thoughts can’t change the future.
Getting worried all the time and not enjoying the present time is definitely the worst thing happening to anyone. See you can’t control things in any way so why not live in the present and make life more cheerful with your loved ones that may need your attention instead of seeing you stuck in your own worries.